A Vongala Halloween
by Spring Zephyr
Summary: This Halloween, Tsuna throws a costume party at his house! In which everyone is dressed like sea creatures, the Kokuyo Gang arrives uninvited, and everything keeps going horribly wrong...


"Where does Reborn come up with these?" Tsuna sighed.

A mass of blue and silver fabric lay in his hands. He'd not only resigned himself to his fate, but done so willingly once Kyoko offered her input – meaning it was mostly Reborn's fault, but Kyoko wasn't innocent either. Only after Tsuna had seen the costume had he begun to have second thoughts.  
"Tsuna fish," Gokudera muttered dryly.

Reborn had picked it out, of course.

But Kyoko was the one who'd called it "cute", and Tsuna, who was ever eager to please, had almost tripped over himself rushing back to his bedroom to put it on.

Looking at the costume was bad enough, but Gokudera swore Tsuna glared at him just a tiny bit when he said it out loud. At this very moment, there was nothing Gokudera wanted more than to light a cigarette and the calming effect of a lungful of nicotine. That, or to throw this whole "costume party" idea out the window. He wasn't sure.

"W-well," Tsuna laughed shakily, unzipping the front of his tsuna fish costume and shrugging off his sweater, "at least it can't get worse."

"Reborn left my sister in charge of catering."

"_Ohmigawd, it just got worse._"

_And I'm dressing up as a lobster_, Gokudera left the words unspoken, knowing the dark look on his face spoke for itself. _For you._

"Don't take too long getting changed, Tenth," Gokudera said instead, wasting no time stipping off his own t-shirt and pants. If Tsuna noticed he was in a hurry, which he probably hadn't, he kindly pretended not to. "Kyoko and Haru should be taking the kids Trick or Treating soon."

XXX

In spite of his newfound motivation, the girls were gone by the time Tsuna and Gokudera fumbled their way downstairs – which was surprisingly hard, despite Gokudera's familiarity with the house, thanks to the stuffy mascot head Gokudera was wearing. He could barely see out of the tiny pinpricks that were supposed to be eyeholes, and it was stuffy, a little stale, but didn't quite smell of sweat like he'd expected.

With the way moisture was dampening his bangs already, that was probably going to change soon. Gokudera found himself regretting that he'd stripped off so many of his outer layers, finding the way the costume's fabric brushed against his bare skin uncomfortable now.

"You're both so cute!" Tsuna's mother squealed, clasping her hands together in a near perfect imitation of Kyoko's "you're going to look so cute!"

"Glub, glub," replied Tsuna.  
"Tsuna fish!"

Even with the mascot head muffling his hearing, Gokudera heard Tsuna's defeated sigh.

"Yamamoto," Tsuna squeaked, in what could only have been a desperate attempt to change the subject. "When did you get here?"

The tactless idiot grinned. "A few seconds ago. I just finished changing!"

"In my living room?!"

"Yeah – "

"Oh, Tsuna," Mrs. Sawada chuckles, "you act like I haven't seen you changing thousands of times!"

In that moment, Gokudera swore he could hear Tsuna's indignant thoughts of, "_But Yamamoto and I are too completely different people!"_

His newfound psychic powers last only a moment before he keels over, stomach cramping, at the sight of Bianchi.

XXX

"Thanks, boss."

His throat was still dry, but if Gokudera had gotten one good thing from this situation, it was multiple hand delivered cups of ice cold water from the Tenth himself. _Which Bianchi hadn't gone anywhere near_, Tsuna insisted.

Oh, and the opportunity to take his mask off. That was good too, Gokudera supposed. Especially knowing either Reborn or Tsuna's mother would demand he wore it again as soon as his stomach was better.

"Don't mention it."

It was worth mentioning, though.

"Really. I'm happy you would do this for me. And… and you even managed to convince Bianchi to wear that squirrel costume again."

The one she'd worn when they fought the Kokuyo Gang. The one that conveniently covered half of her face and made her slightly easier to be around.

Tsuna sighed again. At first, Gokudera assumed it was because of a misstep he'd made – then Tsuna mumbled, "Some party this is turning out to be."

"Because of the costumes, or…?"

"The costumes," Tsuna agreed. "The costumes are definitely part of it. Who knows what Reborn was thinking?"

Yamamoto was wearing a onesie similar to Tsuna's, except he was a shark and not a tuna. A Tsuna tuna. A stiff hood with triangular fleece teeth covered his head, so his face appeared to be poking out of the shark's mouth.

A few minutes ago, Chrome had arrived wearing a stingray costume and an unamused expression, but at least her cape allowed for some freedom of movement even though the edges were pinned to her elbows. Gokudera, on the other hand, was still bumping into things. The clawed hands of his lobster costume made holding his own water cup such a chore, he'd chosen to pull down the zipper and let the top half pool around his waste instead. They were just ouf of the way enough that Gokudera was reasonably sure no one else would find them. And if they did, well, screw 'em. It wasn't his fault Reborn had chosen such terrible costumes.

"It's not all bad," Gokudera tried weakly.

"Dino and his men are dressed like a horse. They thought it was pretty funny that Reborn not only convinced Hibari to show up, but managed to force him into a seahorse costume as well."

Without meaning to, Gokudera winced. "Has he threatened to bite anyone yet?"

"Only _my mom_."

"But she's a nice lady!"

"Yeah, and I think that's the reason why he hasn't done it yet. She caught him offguard by asking if he was a vampire seahorse this year."

"Why do you think Reborn to do an underwater theme?" Gokudera wondered. "And when did he even have time to plan all this?"

"I'm a 'tuna fish'. You're the loyal lobster. I think for Yamamoto, he just wanted to make a joke about his rivalry with Squalo. And Chrome – "

"Four times as many arms, TO THE EXTREME!"  
Something crashed.

Mrs. Sawada laughed, clapping her hands, and Gokudera looked over his shoulder just in time to witness Ryohei, dressed like a squid, trying to drink eight cups of fruit punch simultaneously. A moment later, Ken and Chikusa charged through the door like they owned the place, and Tsuna buried his head in his hands and whimpered.

Which made Gokudera want to blow them all up.

XXX

"Don't think it means anything," Ken grumbled, stuffing his face full of popcorn, "just because we came right away when you called."

"Of course," Chrome intoned.

"Don't go thinking we're like dogs."

"Never."

When there was nothing left in the popcorn bowl but crumbs and flecks of half-eaten popcorn, he turned his attention to the carmeled apples. Eyed them uncertainly, like he wanted the carmel, but was afraid the apple part would make this snack a bit too healthy. "Also, we brought you some gum. Don't get excited, because I found it on the roadside."

"Yeah," Fran sighed, some distance away. He was dressed as a clown, something Gokudera doubted had been his decision. It was still better than Chikusa and Ken – one of whom was wearing a bedsheet and calling himself a ghost, and the other claiming he was a vampire, even though his fangs were natural. "On a roadside convenience store..."

"It's dirty, so I don't want it anymore! Which means it's perfect for you!"

Chikusa, who knew Ken well enough to know he'd eat _roadkill_ if there weren't sane people around to stop him, looked equally unamused. Sharing his expression was M.M., although for a completely different reason. She regarded the banquet, the half that wasn't being currently inhaled by Ken, with a curled upper lip.

After the way Bianchi had melted her clarinet the last time they'd met, the Kokuyo Gang's other female member was probably on her way to being half as traumatized as Gokudera was.

"I can't believe I'm getting jealous of Chrome… But better Ken's trash than this," she huffed.

"The only trash I see in this room," Bianchi replied coolly, "is standing right in front of me."

Something about his sister's unusually harsh reaction surprised him. Gokudera hadn't thought there'd been any hard feelings between the two, since they'd just been following the orders of their respective bosses when they'd fought – nothing to hold a grudge over.

Apparently, he'd been wrong to assume.

And how often did Bianchi get angry? She wasn't a perfect older sister, for sure, but if there was one thing Bianchi could be counted upon, it was staying calm in nearly every situation.

Then Gokudera noticed who'd just entered the room, and immediately he understood. Bianchi wasn't even looking at M.M.

"...ROMEO!"  
"Ah, you're all back from Trick-or-Treating!" Tsuna's mom cheered, right as Ten Years Later Lambo received a face full of Poison Cooking Pie.

She called for a group photo immediately afterwards.

XXX

As if the night couldn't possibly get any worse, Gokudera found himself rubbing circles into the Tenth's back not even ten minutes later, thinking angrily to himself that he loved his sister, but _maybe_ she shouldn't be allowed near civilization. The fact that Tsuna was puking into a bucket right now could be traced back to a number of things, with Bianchi's Poison Cooking being the prime factor.

"You know you didn't have to do this, Boss."

"My mom and Kyoko felt bad 'cause no one was eating Bianchi's food," Tsuna moaned before dipping his head into the bucket once more. When he came back up a moment later, his voice was noticeably hoarser again. "...So… I said everyone was saving it for me… because I love Bianchi's cooking so much..."

Gokudera winced. Tsuna probably already knew this, but he'd just opened a huge can of metaphorical worms. Worms as thick as his fingers and with a sick appetite for flesh, no less. Bianchi had an unfortunate habit of making people regret encouraging her, or trying to be nice about her inedible cooking.

On the bright side, he'd watched Ken sneak a few bites from Bianchi's buffet.

And came to the conclusion that Ken Joshima really was a dog.

XXX

"Sorry I'm late, everyone!"

Giannini entered the room with his hovercraft decorated like a large fish, which made him a… flying fish, Gokudera assumed? At least Reborn was consistent with his ocean theme. He fit right in with Lambo, I-pin, and Fuuta, who were dressed as a surfboard, an anglerfish, and a scuba diver. Meanwhile, Haru pranced around happily in a starfish costume, singing in people's faces and telling everyone with ears "Reborn picked Haru as the starfish because she's going to be a star!" The microphone she used for interviews was decorated with fake pearls and seashells, and her breath smelled like mint.

Before she'd gobbled her entire bucket of Trick-or-Treating candies and chocolates, at least. Gokudera didn't want to get close enough to smell her breath now.

"She's going to be in a sugar coma in an hour from now."

"I know, but..." Tsuna sighed, but in a much dreamier way than he'd been sighing for the majority of the night. Gokudera followed his gaze right to where Kyoko was standing, in front of the punch bowl. "Isn't Kyoko the cutest barnacle you've ever seen?"

"Of course, Tenth."

Kyoko wasn't ugly by anyone's standards. She also wasn't pretty, by Gokudera's, and he'd never seen a barnacle he thought was cute either. The Tenth would never be shallow enough to fall for someone based on looks alone, however, and Gokudera would never allow himself to speak badly of someone his boss loved. Which meant the only proper response was agreement.

Even if he agreed somewhat half-heartedly.

His dreamy expression quickly shifted to one of mild terror as Kyoko approached him. Gokudera's did too, beneath his stupid lobster costume, when she explained why.

"Tsuna, I think Bianchi's sad because no one else is eating her buffet."

"Actually, I think she looks – "

"She's _sad_, Tsuna!"

Gokudera cast a quick glance in his sister's direction to make sure, but Bianchi looked the same as always. Small, self-confident smile. Gentle eyes. Not the kind of face anyone would expect to see on someone who could easily kill this entire room with her lack of culinary skills, and that was without even trying to.

Luckily, she was usually oblivious to that sort of thing. If people weren't eating what she made them, she _usually_ justified it in her head somehow. One of her charm points, in Gokudera's opinion.

"I can tell!" Kyoko insisted with a pout.

One look at her big, concerned eyes and quivering lower lip, and Tsuna's resistence vanished faster than Gokudera's appetite did whenever Bianchi was around.

"S-she's not sad!"

"How do you know? Nobody's eating the food she put all that time and effort into making – "

"B-because I won't let them!"

All of this happened while Gokudera was gaping stupidly, trying to come up with the words to stop him.

Kyoko gasped in horror, and Tsuna, thanks to his many years of practice appeasing bullies and avoiding conflict, added without missing a beat, "Yeah, Bianchi's food is so delicious, I've been saving it for myself! Sorry for being selfish, haha!"

"Huh? If that's the only reason, then why don't we dish up together? Right now!"

"NO!" Tsuna screamed.

He probably would have drawn more attention, but Yamamoto and Lambo were currently playing an _extremely_ one-sided game of catch that had everyone else distracted. Using a pumpkin for a ball. And Yamamoto had just picked up an umbrella in place of a bat –

Oh.

That was going to be hard to clean out of the carpet later.

"Why not?" Kyoko demanded.

"Boss..." Gokudera hissed a warning.

Kyoko was pouting again, which meant Tsuna saying something stupid in return was predictable, yet unavoidable.

"Because I'm really hungry! Sooo hungry, I doubt I could share with anyone else right now! But if I could, I would – "

"In that case," Kyoko replied, instantly sunshine and rainbows again, "you wait right here! You must be too hungry to move, so I'll dish up your first plate!"

"Boss, no..."

She walked all the way to Bianchi's buffet table while Tsuna was still laughing weakly. "I don't have a choice now, do I?" he mumbled when the laughter faded.

Gokudera clapped a hand on his shoulder consolingly.

XXX

"Do you think Lambo will care that I threw up in his Halloween basket?" Tsuna asked. His voice was a little hoarse, his eyes were watery, but he was still alive – an impressive feat for someone who'd eaten an entire table of Bianchi's specialty dishes.

Gokudera had offered to help. Almost begged. Tsuna was too kind of his own good, refusing to take Gokudera's offer.

"That stupid cow has eaten enough candy," Gokudera replied. "His bucket was empty anyway."

Mostly empty. Compared to I-Pin's and Fuuta's, his had the least amount of candy in it – and Lambo didn't look like he needed more sugar anyway. Not when he was bouncing around so much that Gokudera hadn't seen him for five minutes, and the last time he had, Lambo had been singing an offkey song about how his snot was green and sticky.

"Eh..." Tsuna leaned back and stared at the ceiling a bit. It was an improvement on his previous hunched posture, however slight. "He's definitely going to complain later."

"Then let him," Gokudera suggested.

"I will, but..."

"But what?"

"Tonight wasn't supposed to be like this! Reborn picked all of the costumes, and for some reason, everyone went along with him? There are messes all over the place! And I think, in the future, I won't be able to look at Bianchi's face when she's not wearing a mask either!"

"It's a family party so it makes sense that we'd wear family costumes, we'll clean it together, and Bianchi's face isn't anything special anyway," Gokudera replied, ticking off each point on his fingers. The speed of his response surprised even Gokudera himself.

"Do you really mean that?"

"Sure. I've risked my life for you and I'm even wearing this stupid lobster costume for you." That earned a chuckle from Tsuna, which made Gokudera smile too. "Compared to those things, an hour or two of cleaning is nothing."

Cleaning was even relaxing, sometimes. Nobody suspected it from Gokudera, but there was something about putting everything back in its proper place, the quiet contemplation of space and organization, that put him at ease. Once he settled into a good state of mind, Gokudera was very methodical about cleaning.

Their smiles disappeared quickly, around the same time Fran yelled, "I think you made Mukuro mad!"

"I made Mukuro mad?" Ken snapped back. "You and Hibari started it!"

"I'm going to bite you all!"

The power went out, and Mukuro's laughter echoed against the walls.

"Six hours, if we make Yamamoto and Ryohei help," Gokudera corrected himself.

**I had to end the fic on this note, or it would've continued forever.**


End file.
